I'll put my future in you
by justanoutlaw
Summary: They say all magic comes with a price, but that doesn't make paying it any easier.


**I want to preface this by saying, major mentions of miscarriage and infertility in this. It goes into depth with the infertility potion that George gave Snow in Lady of the Lake. I love Baby Neal, he is amazing. However, loboselinaistrash and I were discussing the price the lake water comes with. We believed that after Emma and Neal, Snow would never be able to get pregnant again. They were both miracles. I got an even more heartbreaking idea of what if Emma was the only miracle. What if after the curse broke, they could never get pregnant again?**

**Set in a canon divergence from the end of 3A forward. Pan's spell never had to be reversed, they all stayed in Storybrooke going forward.**

_I'll whisper quietly_

_I'll give you nothing but truth_

_If you're not inside me_

_**I'll put my future in you**__-Ed Sheeran_

Snow had always known that she wanted to be a mom. She was the little girl that played with dolls, her parents always bought her many. She played mommy to them, dressed them and never let them go. George taking her away her ability to have them, broke her heart. Yet, Ruth sacrificed her own life and made sure that the dream would come true.

Emma was beautiful, smart and incredibly strong. She was a perfect mix of both Snow and David, from her blonde hair to her green eyes. There were even the small things like Snow's chin and David's smile. She was kind, sarcastic and stubborn, the kind of person who fought for the underdog. Snow couldn't be prouder.

It had been a year since the curse broke, a year since Neverland. In that moment, she had said she wanted another baby but after talking it through with David, they realized they needed to wait. They had to build a bond with Emma, make sure she knew they weren't replacing her. They always planned on having more children, even if they had raised her. The confession hadn't come out in the way that Snow wanted it to and she knew that there was work to be done.

So, they did it. They spent the year after Neverland fighting Zelena, but bonding too. They all learned a lot about each other and Emma even started calling them mom and dad on a permanent basis. They were a family and it was time to add to it.

Snow assumed it would be easy. She was technically 58, but she was also in the body of a 30 year old woman. She was extremely healthy, worked out and ate well. David had gotten her pregnant once, why should they have trouble doing so again?

It turned out she was half right. She got pregnant within their second month of trying and they were over the moon. Even Emma, who had time to adjust to the idea of a sibling, was so incredibly excited. They announced it at their anniversary party and soon, the town was abuzz. The epitome of true love would be having another child. Would they have magic like Emma? Who would they look like?

Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Snow went in for an appointment and found that her baby no longer had a heartbeat. It came out of nowhere and was a low hit to her. David held her while she cried, clearly crying himself. Emma mourned the loss too, of the little sibling that she could've had. They stayed a bit closer knit after that. Henry spent a bit more time with Regina, knowing that his grandparents really needed the space.

Two months later, they tried again. This time, they were more cautious. They didn't even tell Emma, they were going to wait until she was halfway through the second trimester before they said a word and as it turned out, they were wise to do so. Snow had some cramping two weeks after finding out and by the time they got to the hospital, there was nothing that could be done.

The third miscarriage was for a pregnancy that Snow didn't even know about. They weren't even going to try again so soon, they needed a break. However, one day she was teaching when she doubled over in pain and found blood dripping down her leg. At the hospital, she was told that she was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. They had to remove the fallopian tube that the egg had gone into, in order to save her.

It had been a year since they had started the process. A year with three pregnancies, along with three miscarriages and one surgery. Snow and David needed answers. They went to the doctor and both went through lots of tests-of both the scientific and magical kind once Dr. Montgomery heard that Snow had once ingested an infertility potion. Three days later, they were called in for the results.

"So, David, you are fine," Dr. Montgomery told the couple that rainy afternoon. "There should be no reason why you wouldn't be able to get a healthy woman pregnant."

David squeezed his wife's hand. "Snow is healthy."

She nodded. "She is. She exercises, has cut alcohol out of her diet."

"I've also been taking vitamins like crazy," Snow added. "And I drink about 8 glasses of water a day."

"Well, that is no longer the medical standard, but I appreciate it," Dr. Montgomery said with a small smile. "Snow, you can get pregnant, that is clear. However, I am afraid that your body will never be able to carry a pregnancy to term."

A slow frown inched across Snow's face. "But I did, before. With Emma."

"I reviewed the records there." She flipped through the files. "Emma was born a month early, correct."

"Yes."

"I did some research into the infertility potion that George used. There are several, but I did some research into where he was and what would be available. While you were able to heal yourself with the water, all magic does come with a price."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll never be able to carry a pregnancy to full term. To be perfectly honest with you, Snow, the fact that Emma was born at 8 months gestation is a bit of a miracle in itself."

Tears pricked Snow's eyes. She had lost Emma for 28 years, but the thought that she could've lost her before she was even born tore her apart inside. "So…I can never have another baby?"

"You can continue trying, but I wouldn't advise it. Now that you're down to one fallopian tube, that's going to drastically change your odds of even getting pregnant."

"There has to be something we can do," David interjected, his voice breaking a bit. "A potion? A treatment? This was caused by magic, surely that can fix it."

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing. If this was something purely scientific, I could suggest medical solutions, but there just are none. I've exhausted every option. I really didn't want this to be the answer for you two, trust me."

Emma sat at the kitchen table, tapping her pen against the wood. Her parents and Henry had been encouraging her to get her GED. She wanted to go to college at some point and it was the only way, short of night school. The practice tests were hard, though. She had dropped out of high school in the beginning of her junior year and that had been over 14 years ago.

The door opened and shut, her parents walking inside. She was about to ask how the appointment went, but Snow shuffled past the stairs and immediately went to bed. Emma saw her father's face. That past year, she had seen them cry and go through utter turmoil. It was so hard to see them not be able to get what they wanted. She was devastated about the little siblings that she had lost, sometimes wondering how she could love them so much when she never even met them.

In that moment, however, her father looked even more devastated. He had clearly been crying. She got out of her chair, wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her tight, possibly tighter than he ever had before. He cradled the back out of her head and she could hear a sob escape his lips. She was still adjusting to all the hugs, but that past year especially, they had been clinging tighter to her. Emma understood completely, they were worried about losing her…again.

"Dad," she whispered after a bit. "What happened?"

David pulled away, cupping her cheek and looking at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. "Your mom won't be able to have more kids."

"But she's been able to get pregnant."

"She won't be able to carry to term. That's the price of the magic of the lake water she drank."

"She had me, though…"

David smile in spite of his tears. "You were our miracle, Emma. You came at 8 months, which still wasn't full term."

Emma shook her head. "If she could carry me that long, surely she could another baby…" Her father shook his head and Emma could feel her throat catching. "But that's…that's not fair. You two want a baby. It's all you've talked about this past year."

"These things happen," he whispered. "But hey, we have each other." He kissed her forehead. "I really think your mom could use a quiet day with us. I know you were studying…"

"No, it's fine. Let's go be with Mom."

Emma didn't accept the answer that her parents gave her. She spent the rest of the day letting Snow hug her as tight as she wanted, she didn't once complain. The next day, though, she snuck out early in the morning. It was her day off and she had a lot of work to do. She borrowed books from Rumpelstiltskin, Regina and Belle, going to Granny's where she poured over each and every single one. She'd find a cure, she just had to.

Unfortunately, every book said the same thing. There was nothing that could be done. The lake water had a price. Even if her grandmother had taken it, something else would've happened. Her standard of living would've decreased and she would've suffered. The water wasn't a be all, end all. In some ways, it was like a temporary band aid.

Emma was so frustrated. She had to find a way to help her parents. They had lost out on time with her and now, they couldn't even have a chance to raise a baby from the start. It wasn't fair. Slowly, she found herself becoming desperate. There had to be a way, some way, any way.

She was so desperate, for a minute she didn't even think about her own child. She came up with a solution that wouldn't give them a new baby…but maybe a second chance with the child they already had.

If only someone would help her with it. There was nothing about it any of the books that she read. She knew she couldn't tell Regina, she would try to talk her out of it. She was so desperate, she went to the last person she thought she could trust.

Blue simply shook her head. "It can't be done."

"That's bull shit," Emma seethed, placing her hands on the counter of the front desk at the convent.

"You're in a church, Emma."

"I don't give a shit. I saw what you did with August. He's a kid again, you did that. You could do that for me."

"August wasn't human to begin with. The spell I did on him was only possible, because he had once been a puppet. It's why I couldn't make him an adult again."

"I know you're lying!" Emma thundered. "You could do this! If you really wanted to, but you just don't!" Tears poured down her face. "My parents are good people! They're heroes, they…they gave up everything for this town. You lied to them, you owe them!"

Emma wiped at her face. She couldn't believe that she was begging Blue of all people.

"Please," her voice came out in the whisper for the first time since she arrived. "Do this for them. I know this will change everything, but I don't care about me. It's about what they deserve."

Blue was quiet for a moment before taking her wand and using it to conjure up a box. She held it out and Emma accepted it.

"What's in here? A potion?"

"No. I was being honest when I told you there's nothing I can do. However, I can give you this. It's the baby pictures your adoptive family had of you."

"Is it going to burst into flames when I leave here?"

Blue rolled her eyes. "No."

Emma didn't know what to say. She still didn't believe Blue, but she also knew on some level that maybe it was for the best. She couldn't do this to Henry, she couldn't do this to herself.

By the time Emma walked through the door of the loft, the sun had long set in the sky and the crickets were chirping. Snow jumped up from the couch and ran to her, throwing her arms tightly around her. Emma was taken off guard for a moment, but then returned the hug.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Snow asked, tightening her grip. "You've been gone on all day. We heard you were at Granny's, so we went there but by the time we arrived, you were gone. We thought…God, you can't just take off like that. Adult or not, we need to know where you are!"

Emma felt a singe of guilt hit her heart.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was just trying to do something."

"What was more important than answering your phone?"

"I was trying to fix things."

"Fix things?"

"The price of the lake water."

Snow pulled away from her, eyes wide. David joined his wife, looking a mixture of shocked and crestfallen.

"Emma, the doctor said there's nothing that can be done," he said, softly.

"I know that now. So, then I went to Blue."

Snow's eyes went even wider. "Emma! We told you to stay away from her!"

"I just had to ask her for help. I know Regina and Rumple wouldn't, but she had done it for August, so maybe she could for me."

"Did it for August…what…" She trailed off. "Emma, no."

"But she said no," Emma rambled on, ignoring her mother's shocked face. "I don't know if she really can't do it or if she won't, but she can't fix it. I'm sorry. I know you two wanted a baby. You deserve one. I was your miracle and you couldn't even raise me. You're stuck with me, an adult…I know I'm not what you wanted and I just...I'm so sorry."

David and Snow exchanged a look, before both of them pulled Emma into their arms. David cradled the back of Emma's head and Snow placed her hand on top of his. She pressed a kiss to Emma's cheek.

"Emma, you are everything we wanted," Snow said.

"But a baby…"

"You are our baby. Yes, we wanted another child and we are heartbroken you'll never be a big sister…but it doesn't change that you're our baby too."

"I'm an adult."

"No matter how old you get, you will always be our baby," David said. "And even if you're not one physically, we wouldn't change who you are or how you are. We're a family. Nothing is going to change that."

"This isn't what you wanted."

"We wanted a child and that's you." Snow pulled away and put her hands on Emma's cheeks. "You are my baby girl, my miracle. My heart is aching right now, but I am already a mother. I would not trade you for anything in the world."

Tears were falling down all their faces as they rejoined the hug. They didn't pull away for quite some time. When they did, they went through the box that Blue had given Emma. They saw the tiny baby that slowly grew through the progression. From rolling over to first steps. There were even some video tapes. They stayed cuddled up on the couch together, staying up way later than they normally would, catching up on lost time.

It took months for them to adjust to the news. Emma would still occasionally look for a cure, but eventually she gave up. Her father had once told her to look for the moments and she would. Snow and David would never be over that they could never have more children, but they tried to focus on what they did. They had a handsome grandson, a woman that was once their enemy was family again and as she formed a new relationship, they were gaining a nephew of sorts with Roland.

More importantly, they had Emma. She was their baby girl, their miracle. She had been sent to save so many people, but more importantly, she had saved them. She made them a family. No matter what life had in store, as long as they had her, they were going to be okay.


End file.
